Archive for May, 2008

I have Nothing Special To Report

Sunday, May 18th, 2008

Today I feel I have nothing special to report, but then maybe I do

I woke up, I opened my eyes, realizing I still have sight

Then to realize I have my ears, it may be quiet, but still have

my hearing, to hear the birds to sing, or a song play on the radio and

if I lay quiet enough I can hear my heart beat.

Today I feel I have nothing special to report, but then maybe I do

I woke up, was able to sit up and put my feet to the floor, realizing I

still have movement in my legs, able to take a step one by one

and even able still to run, and still have some fun.

The show has not ended yet, oh my , there is still much more to come

Today I feel I have nothing special to report, but then maybe I do

I woke up this morning, with a big oh yawn, along with this noise,

again realizing, I have my voice, I am able to talk, to whisper, to sing

and to shout THANK YOU GOD.

Today I feel I have nothing special to report, but then maybe I do

I woke up this morning , another joy to realize, I am breathing,

I can smell the many wonders of fragrances. weather it the wonderful

smell of cooking or the beautiful smell of a rose,

So today I do have something special to report.

I woke up, its another day,

I have my eyes to see with

my ears that can hear all around me

my legs and feet that can take one step at a time

I have a voice that allows me to talk or to sing if I like

I can breath, I can smell

Most of all I have my heart, it still beat,

So you think you Have nothing special to report

YES YOU DO

YOU ARE ALIVE.

Written by Kelly

05-16-08

Quick Sex

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

Eddie wanted desperately to have sex with this really cute, really hot girl
in his office but she was dating someone else. One day Eddie got so
frustrated   that he went to her and said, ‘I’ll give you $100 if you let me
have sex with you.’  The girl looked at   him and then said, ‘NO.’ Eddie
said, ‘I’ll be real fast.   I’ll throw the   money on the floor, you bend
down, and I’ll finish by the time you’ve picked   it up.’  She thought for a
moment and said that she would consult with her boyfriend.  She called him
and   explained the situation. Her boyfriend says, ‘Ask him for $200, and
pick up   the money really fast. He wont even be able to get his pants
down.’ She agreed   and accepts the proposal.  Over half an hour   goes by
and the boyfriend is waiting for his girl friend ’s call.     Finally, after
45   minutes the boyfriend calls and asks, ‘What happened?’   Still
breathing   hard, she managed to reply, ‘The bastard had all quarters

Counting…..

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

I was walking past the mental hospital the other day, and all the patients were shouting, ‘13…13….13…13.’
 
The fence was too high to see over, but I saw a little gap in the
planks and looked through to see what was going on.

 
Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick.

Then they all started shouting. ‘14..14…14…14….’.